I THINK MY CHILD NEEDS THERAPY — NOW WHAT?
Parenting can be a source of joy, adventure, and fun. However, if your child is struggling, parenting can feel quite lonely. When I was a young mother, I recall receiving an email from my child’s second-grade teacher. It was a polite request to attend a parent-teacher conference to discuss some challenging behaviors my child had been demonstrating in class. I was embarrassed that my son was misbehaving, fearful that he was officially on the wrong track, and worried that I had failed him. I attended the conference with my head hanging down.
In hindsight, the meeting was a gift. My child’s very experienced teacher shared that she recognized some early signs of concern. She noticed a reduction in my son's ability to focus in class, complete coursework, and he was having trouble socializing. She expressed a love for him, but could see he needed more help, and suggested I make an appointment for him with a mental health professional. At her advice, I scheduled a session with a therapist, and I am so glad I did.
It can be challenging to know if your child would benefit from working with a therapist. Here are a few signs that therapy might be a good fit for your kiddo:
You have noticed a shift in their behavior or mood
They are withdrawing from friends or activities they once enjoyed
They struggle with emotions or expressing feelings
A teacher, pediatrician, coach, or other mentor has approached you with concerns
Your child has expressed a desire to see a therapist
Some factors to consider when selecting a therapist include therapy approach, client preference, location, and fees. If you’re unsure where to start, a friend or your pediatrician may be able to recommend therapists they’ve worked with for similar concerns.
Therapy Approach
When exploring different therapists, reading their bios can give some insight into their experience or expertise in working with your child’s age group or your child’s condition. Therapists should be licensed and credentialed, and this information should be included in their introduction. These include Licensed Associate/Professional Counselors (LACs or LPCs), Licensed Psychologists, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFTs), and Licensed Master/Clinical Social Workers (LMSWs or LCSWs).
Client Preference
The therapist-client relationship is important to effective treatment, so be mindful of whether your child has preferences regarding their therapist's age, gender, or race. A teenager could appreciate being able to choose from a few options you have vetted.
Location
Would telehealth work better for your family, or would an in-person visit be preferred? If you plan to meet face-to-face, prioritizing a convenient office location with easy access to public transit or plenty of parking can reduce commuting stress.
Fees
Paying for services out-of-pocket can speed up the process for obtaining an initial appointment and can increase provider options. However, you might prefer a co-pay. If you plan to use insurance, start by contacting your insurance provider for a list of in-network mental health therapists to avoid calling providers who can’t accept your plan.
What to Expect
During the first few therapy visits, the therapist will spend time getting to know your child. Often, they will meet with your child or teen alone. Many therapists use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to help build skills and strengths to manage challenges. Therapy may involve “homework” to practice these skills between sessions. As a parent, you can support your child by encouraging attendance, praising their efforts, and checking in with the therapist. Most therapists cannot prescribe medication, but can collaborate with your pediatrician, psychiatrist, or nurse practitioner if needed. With your permission, the therapist can communicate with your child’s doctor to ensure coordinated care (Moreno, 2016).
You want your child to succeed. Helping your child attend therapy is one way to ensure they get the support they need, which is most assuredly a parenting win.
Lindsey Joy Smith, LMSW
Moreno, M. A. (2016). When Your Child Is Referred to a Therapist. JAMA pediatrics, 170(8), 816-816.