Facials as a Practice of Presence

By Mia Hamlin, Holistic Esthetician

One of the things I never expected when beginning my journey as an esthetician is how little I actually talk about skin with my clients. Of course, we talk about the breakouts, dryness, products, routines, and all the typical things you’d probably expect.

But my most meaningful conversations are the ones where my clients feel safe and held enough to slow down and talk about what’s really been going on. Sometimes, our check-in before the facial never even gets around to how their skin has been doing.

What matters more: a stressful season at work, a parent they’re caring for, a child they’re worried about, divorce, grief, burnout. This gradually gnawing feeling that they’ve been pouring into everyone else for so long, they have nothing left to give to themselves.

As I’ve worked with more mothers and women in midlife, I’ve noticed something heartbreaking: they’re really good at caring for other people, and usually deeply uncomfortable receiving care themselves. 

I can tell when a client comes into my treatment room and immediately starts apologizing.

“I’m sorry my skin is so dry, I haven’t been taking care of myself.”

“I almost cancelled today, there was so much going on.”

And I get it. We live in a hustle culture that treats rest like a reward to earn after we’ve checked off our entire to-do list. The problem is, for most women, that work is never finished, and we’ve never done enough. There will always be another laundry basket, appointment, or person who needs something. If we wait until everything is done before we let ourselves rest, we’ll spend our whole lives believing rest is something we haven’t earned yet. And that is an exhausting edge to live on.

That’s one reason I care so deeply about the work that I do, and the women I work with. Yes, I love helping people improve their skin and self-confidence. But I really love creating a space where someone doesn’t have to take care of anyone for a full hour. They don’t have to make decisions, anticipate needs, solve problems, or hold everything together. They can just be. If you’ve ever wondered what the difference is between facials and putting products on your skin at home: it’s the powerful act of being cared for. 

Research has shown that stress can contribute to inflammation and may worsen conditions like rosacea, sensitivity, eczema, and acne. As someone who works mainly with stress-reactive and mature skin, I see these connections constantly. Skincare can function on this really interesting level that connects both the mind and the body. 

Facials don’t cure stress, but they offer an hour to interrupt it. To breathe deeper, let your shoulders fall away from your ears, and remember that your needs matter too. I think that’s so important for women who have spent their lives caring for everyone around them. These are usually the same women who tell me they’re worried about looking older, and hate their wrinkles. I want more women to know that aging isn’t something to fight against. Yes, age comes with grief, change, and pain, but age is proof of life lived. Your skin is proof you’ve made it this far, through all the expressions and anger and tears and smiles, and I think that deserves more reverence than criticism.

My goal through facials is never to erase your story or make you look different. I want to honor where you’ve been, and support your skin through it. To help it stay healthy, comfortable, and resilient. To empower you toward loving yourself radically through every season of life. 

Skincare can absolutely change the health of your skin, but the moments that keep me feeling so passionately about this work are much different than that.

Someone realizing they don’t need to apologize, and that this space is theirs. Someone leaving lighter and more connected to themselves than they arrived.

Maybe that’s the most impactful thing that skincare can do. In a world that suggests an image of what you should be, facials can bring you back to yourself, and remind you that YOU are always worthy of love, just as you are.

~

If you’ve been looking for skincare that empowers your authenticity and leaves you feeling deeply loved, then you might try my new facial that was designed for exactly that feeling. 

Introducing the Botanical Renewal Facial, a way to come back to yourself.

Learn more here.